Living in between

Most of my life has been spent in shades of gray. I am not the best Christian but I try to do good deeds and I don’t worship Satan. I do not bow to the will of my elders but I respect them for their years and wisdom, if not for the fact that they haven’t killed themselves yet. I revile fanaticism of any kind because I believe that it leads to strife and misunderstanding. Everything in moderation, including moderation, is one of my favorite quotes, and something I try to live by.

And yet sometimes, you really must pick a side. You must either say yes or no, deliberately choose one path and forsake the other, and stick with conviction to the path chosen. There are some situations where black and white must coexist, because any amount of gray blurs the situation and turns everything murky. Within the gray you may pretend that things are all right and that in between is fine, but sooner or later things will come into focus, and someone pays the price for your indecision.

I’ve made a decision, and it’s tearing me apart right now. I don’t even believe that it was the right decision, but I believe that it’s much better than living in between.