How guys deal with breakups

Worked on a quickie comic this weekend, well actually laid it out last weekend and fiished it up today. It’s only 3 pages so far, but I’ve had fun making it. It’s refreshing no to have to worry about details too much. When I was trying to work on being a concept artist I felt a bit overwhelmed at the sheer detail you had to put into a single piece. Something like this isn’t as stunning, but it’s still a creative outlet, and it’s lots more fun. Check it out when you have the time.

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I should point out that while this isn’t entirely fictional, there is more fiction than truth here, and it’s more of me cobbling together my own and other friends’ post breakup thoughts and experiences.

Edit: Looking at the strips after a day, i cringe at how rough they seem, and at a word that was mistakenly left behind.  You know what they say though, practice makes perfect.  Or better, at least. 

My Niece at 7 1/2 weeks

I wanna see her, but 50k++ for a round trip ticket to the USA is just out of reach for me right now. Dammit, how long’s it gonna take a low-cost airline to set up shop here, offering routes to the US. I’m ok with no in-flight meal or entertainment, as long as the price is right.

The merits of settling

The reason I love High Fidelity so much (both the book and movie) is that it’s very truthful about men and how they deal with relationships. In the movie, Rob Gordon describes hopping from one relationship to another and always keeping his options open “death by tiny, tiny increments.” He eventually decides to “settle” for Laura, despite the fact that an attractive young journalist is coming on to him. I used quotation marks with the word settle because I think that in this case, contrary to popular belief, settling really isn’t all that bad.

These days you can’t wander through a bookstore without spotting a self help book telling you not to settle for second best. An entire lifestyle has been built according to the dogma that one must always search for and achieve the best, whether it be in relationships or in your career.

But what’s so wrong with settling anyway?  If you’ve found something that feels comfortable, why not stick with it?  Every new thing will eventually end up the same way. Every new job gives you renewed hope but after a few months you’re back to wishing you were working somewhere else.  Settling just means dealing with the problems you’ve found instead of running away, which probably explains why people don’t want to settle in the first place.

Growing old together is so 100 years ago

I watched a BBC clip about a French couple who celebrated their 100th birthday together after being married for some 70 or so years. It’s a little mind boggling isn’t it? Especially these days when couples seem to be getting divorced left and right. A woman expressing her views after the clip said something like “..well once you’ve found the right one, I don’t see that you’d need to look elsewhere. mind you, it has to be the right one.” That got me thinking a little bit.

Popular media has glamourized the player lifestyle, even among women. Desperate Housewives and Sex and the City have preached to women what Rockstars have been telling men for decades, that monogamy is, in a word, kinda boring.

I had more to say, but I’ll leave it at that for now…

Living in between

Most of my life has been spent in shades of gray. I am not the best Christian but I try to do good deeds and I don’t worship Satan. I do not bow to the will of my elders but I respect them for their years and wisdom, if not for the fact that they haven’t killed themselves yet. I revile fanaticism of any kind because I believe that it leads to strife and misunderstanding. Everything in moderation, including moderation, is one of my favorite quotes, and something I try to live by.

And yet sometimes, you really must pick a side. You must either say yes or no, deliberately choose one path and forsake the other, and stick with conviction to the path chosen. There are some situations where black and white must coexist, because any amount of gray blurs the situation and turns everything murky. Within the gray you may pretend that things are all right and that in between is fine, but sooner or later things will come into focus, and someone pays the price for your indecision.

I’ve made a decision, and it’s tearing me apart right now. I don’t even believe that it was the right decision, but I believe that it’s much better than living in between.